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Sidewalk Rage
I used to have irrational outbursts of rage,
those stopping at bottom or top of stairs or escalators in subway stops.
Later in my life I analyzed the source or rage and focused it appropriately.
I recently got in an argument
about a parking space. I was putting boxes in the trunk and I noticed a pickup waiting.
I closed the trunk and headed for the supermarket.
The driver yelled, “You could have told me you weren’t leaving.”
It is quite natural to feel annoyance. No laws need to be passed.
Idiots can figure it out. The absolute worst is those who do it mid-stair.
The elevator, bus door or subway rushers.
Please correct me where I err.
After I returned I found a dent in the hood of my car.
When I am in the city, walking alone, I have a destination.
Walking from A to B, I will mutter things, walking on a sidewalk.
I don’t care about the appearance of my car.
But don’t you hate when parents use side by side strollers on a sidewalk?
Don’t you hate when people stand side by side on an escalator?
Don’t you hate when two slow people are walking side by side?
When I am traveling on foot and have interacted in subtle ways with men,
I feel I am in a tribal hunting party. I find it hard to fault people
who feel the urge to strike someone: reptilian idiots, corner blockers,
hand talkers, person with an out of state tag, the stop-and-turners,
slow movers, the home for the blind.
Civility isn’t everywhere. But it must be in a guidebook
because tourists regularly stop and take pictures of the air.
My point is the pickup driver is an angry person; his anger
will lead to health problems, or he’ll encounter
an equally angry person who will hurt him.
I believe he is already mentally ill.
A disease is much worse than a dent in my car.
I’m not sure about religion or politics but I am positive
ultra-narrow cars would make the world a better place.
Not that any of this matters. Most men traveling in the same direction will not change course, coming out of a building at full speed. Call it whatever you want. I spent most of my working days in the belief the only way was by the skin of my teeth.
If I could have changed my behavior I would have yelled, “I’m not leaving.”
There are a lot of aimlessly wandering Americans.
I would have pulled out and let him park there.

Found by Sarah J. Sloat

Source: comments on a 2011 article in the Wall Street Journal .

 Sarah J. Sloat ( hates standing on the escalator.