(On reading the Countryside Agency’s ‘Countryside
Two walkers once, who left the path
With fleeting union in mind,
Were reaped – oh, tragic aftermath! –
And permanently here combined.
Gates should be shut on passing through,
For who knows what might follow you?
Perhaps a tender calf – (brakes, squeal) –
Like that one, turned to instant veal!
Though the cook’s fire produces
Superb stews and hashes,
Don’t camp among spruces
And leave them all ashes.
Now Blanche has gone to better scenes,
Low sadly, herd she was the pride of,
And curse the day she found those beans –
That was the tin the old cow died
Dear Mary had a little – Guess! –
Until the poor young thing got worried
And Rover left her such a mess
Her parents had to have it –
If you have any comments on any of these poems, Jerome Betts would be
pleased to hear from you.