Played the part well,
But the enigmatic figure he presented
Was largely on account of his character’s back story having not
yet been invented.
Was more way out; on
Assuming the role he exchanged his predecessor’s patrician
For a more light-hearted, bohemian sort of scruffiness.
Always wore a frilly shirt. We
Loved it when he'd go
‘Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow!’
Had a costume designer who thought she’d make a
That was too long for him by a factor of nineteen and a half.
Had good reason to be grave; his un-
Deniable charm was often wasted on stories that were crap,
Was a casting mistake; a
Sheet of blank A4 could convey an
Appreciably better Gallifreyan.
Has always tended to annoy,
Although that thing he used to do on the Ken Campbell Roadshow
Had its merits.
Was chosen as the programme’s leading man
For its transformation
Into a Hollywood abomination.
Can’t be short of a few shekels; done
With the series for good, it would appear, he was the only
former star who said no
To appearing on the fiftieth anniversary show.
Raised another Scottish pennant,
But elected to suppress his native West Lothian lilt
And not wear a kilt.
Was blessed with
The ability to seem both long in the tooth
And a youth.
Has just been installed; he
Could turn out to be fantastic if equipped
With the odd decent script.
If you have any comments on these poems, Rob Stuart would be
pleased to hear from you.