One sunny morning, strolling in my garden,
I stumbled, and my foot crushed something’s head.
"Me dammit!" I exclaimed, “I beg your pardon”,
Looked down, and saw my Serpent lying dead.
Now this was most vexatious, for I’d planned
That this poor snake would implement my scheme
To give my little friends a helping hand,
And lead them gently from their childish dream.
The Serpent was supposed to tempt the couple
With luscious fruit that Eden's trees bedecks;
My chosen agent, sinuous and supple,
Would lead the pair to knowledge - and to sex.
Omniscience can have its limitations,
And even Godly schemes may gang agley.
I'd once envisaged teeming populations,
But this, perhaps, was better, in its way.
No Spanish Inquisition, no Crusades,
No slaves, and no Industrial Revolution,
No mining sites where once were leafy glades,
No factory chimneys belching out pollution.
No nation-states, no border wars to settle,
No Holocaust, no tribal genocide,
No Rap, no Hip-Hop, Punk or Heavy Metal,
No hamburgers with coleslaw on the side.
No guns, no bullets, no demented shooters,
Since nothing could be made, except of wood;
No mobile phones (thank Me!) and no computers ...
I looked on all of this, and found it good.
Yet what of those who should have lived hereafter?
No Homer, Shakespeare, Mozart, Botticelli?
No P. G. Wodehouse? (I was fond of laughter,
Though, being God, I didn’t have a belly).
Descendants all, but only if they had ’em.
(No Michelangelo, no Sistine Chapel?)
My mind made up, I called to Eve and Adam:
“I wondered if you’d care to try an apple?”
And then I told you
We kissed. And then I told you (it was over
dinner at some fancy restaurant)
I loved you, but I couldn’t live like this,
meeting from time to time; I needed more.
Dinner at some fancy restaurant,
and timid sex at your place; that was all, each
meeting. From time to time, I needed more
than you were ready for, so reticent
and timid. Sex at your place - that was all. Each
meeting’s end, I tried not to ask more of you
than you were ready for. So, reticent,
I touched your face in silence, lovingly.
Meetings end. I tried not to ask more of you;
I loved you, but I couldn’t live like this.
I touched your face. In silence, lovingly,
we kissed, and then I told you it was over.
If you have any comments on these poems, Brian Allgar would be
pleased to hear from you.