men’s names

all men called tim are gay
all men called ted are shamans
all men called brian have a small
tattooed lion on their arm
and they’re calm
not like darrens and raymonds

all men called bill think they’re mentally ill
nigels have sensitive souls
all men called sean are psychotic or dull
all men called dave have a car and a secret
trevors have longings to travel to hull

all men called tom have bad musical taste
some men called paul aren’t called paul at all
they’re just keiths who are scared to admit
that they’re keiths
and write ‘paul! my name’s paul!’
when they can, on a wall
any wall;
the side of a house or a lavatory stall

all men called james have large teeth and grin wildly
all men called ronald are small and swear mildly
all men called brad are a little bit mad
all men called lee are just darlings
petes are peaceable punctual folk
erics like judo and strangling starlings
barrys habitually smoke marlboro lights
harrys will come to the office in tights
bismarks are rare, but they have ginger hair
and they never know where
to sit on a plane
they have problems with people and spaces
and heights
and will hum 'voodoo nation'
the emergency drill demonstration

clives are all tall and they’re no fun at all
and they blush if they hear the
phrase ‘deep penetration’

Rod Williams

If you have any comments on this poem, Rod Williams would be pleased to hear from you.