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If I Were Writing
the Horoscopes

Id need 144 homing pigeons,
twelve for each sign in the zodiac,

flapping in with news, a miniature scroll
in a miniature tube.

Youd sit by the windowsill, sipping your coffee,
reading it next to a pigeon companion,

and while the sun poured down, or the rain did,
youd think, This is nice. I like that horoscope man. . . .

If I ever find out who he is,
hes going to get kissed.

Then all day the wind would be a jukebox
playing music from your sixteenth summer.

And the moon would greet you in the evening
so youd never be alone.

Rob Carney

Rob Carney's 7th-grade locker combination was 49-7-42. His email address is, and his poems and featured writing for Terrain: A Journal of the Built + Natural Environments can be found at