What will cause the most pain?
away-day from his weak arms,
be intimate with a no-strings lover,
find brief affection with another –
satisfied and a little settled,
at least for a while.
should I remain, promise-true,
frustrated, restricted to lying
in his celibate sick-bed?
he is gone, I may have years
to plumb regrets
now, I have to find a way
to carry on and care and smile,
unanchored by my body’s needs.
day I struggle, ask for strength
to love him, nurse him –
afterwards to find a way
to feed an undernourished me.
What will cause the least pain?