How to Make a Female
Thereís an art to breaking a woman
You have to break her like an egg
Let her mind, like yolk, slip clean
From the shell surrounding her head
Break the woman so her spirit
Turns gelid. Becomes bleak
Boil her heart in a stock of sorrow
Until it becomes sweetly meek
Strangle her throat so she may not sing
Turn her into a voiceless banshee
Carve a tunnel for her to fly in
And seal it, lest she ever try to flee
But most of all, when you want to break
A woman. Simply crack open her head
And, stuffing it with your own concoctions,
Keep her alive, but gloriously braindead
Donít you ever take chances
Donít jeopardize your manly lives.
When a single woman advances,
And becomes wise, her tribe thrives.
Do it now. Right now. Go make
a female zombie. Go make
that zombie. That is the only way
To save your skin, your very identity -
your precious, precious masculinity.
Go make. Go make that female zombie!
If you have any thoughts on this poem, Shikhandin would
be pleased to hear them.