- Blessed
are the poor in spirit: for they are wimps who won’t
get in our way.
- Blessed
are they that mourn: for that means we’ve hit them
where it hurts and that they’re feeling too sorry
for themselves to do anything about it.
- Blessed
are the meek: for they want somebody else to take
the tough decisions and can in any case be trampled
upon.
- Blessed
are they which do hunger and thirst after
righteousness: for they want simple answers to
complex problems and can easily be manipulated.
- Blessed
are the merciful: for they shall forgive us whatever
we do.
- Blessed
are the pure in heart: for they are suckers who
don’t see the world as it is or us as we are.
- Blessed
are the peacemakers: for they shall be too busy
looking for a compromise solution to take a clear
stand against us, even if they see through what we
say and understand what we want.
- Blessed
are they which are persecuted for righteousness’
sake: for it’s easier to deal with people who want
to be martyrs than with people who want the top
jobs.
- But
do so carefully so that their martyrdom doesn’t
attract more recruits to their cause.
- Blessed
are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute
you, and shall say all manner of evil against you
falsely, for my sake: for all publicity is good
publicity as long as we don’t offend whatever the
current politically correct double standards may be.
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