And Troy, The Great City, Burned
The Burning of Troy (Flemish
Hecuba had the dream but Cassandra had the vision
to see its meaning: Troy would burn because of Paris.
A wise decision then, Priamís, to turn him out to die on Ida.
Iídíve done the same.
But nuzzle-me-nuzzle, the bear began to suckle,
and the mite lived to thrive in the house
of that old old softee Agelaus, glad to be alive
now heíd got himself a son, found himself a dad.
Bad! Bad! Bad!
He should have left the wee lad with the ursus!
For Paris could have done a lot worse
and will. Turns out to be a bloody curse.
For the nonce, heís happy down on the farm
and up on the hills with his flocks, tending.
Till one day round the bend in the track come tripping
Hera, Athena and Aphrodite for a spot of
Who is the fairest of them all.
Zeus, the flippiní nuisance, has lit a slow-burning fuse.
Heís sent them off with a coxís orange pippin to be given
to the most bonny of the three. And blow me
if he hasnít chosen our soon-to-be-infamous
farm boy to do the judging!
In this contest to be the hottest goddess, the three lovelies
-one eye on the apple and the other on the next cover of
offer Paris power, sex and violence respectively.
Weary of his sheep, he not unexpectedly chooses
the sex he will soon be having with Miss Ancient World.
Back in Troy at a later but unspecified date, Paris
shows heís got balls when it comes to his bulls,
beating all-comers to win one back.
Cassandra cottons on, again: itís the long-lost son!
Priam and Hecuba, simultaneously going down with amnesia,
welcome back into the bosom of Troyís favourite family
the son they had abandoned in the car park at Knutsford
Prince Paris soon works moves to get an invite to the house of
Spartan spouse of the soon-to-be-smitten-by-our-former-Eddie
Ten years later, the combined fire services in Asia Minor canít
get the flames under control.
If you have any thoughts on this poem, Glenn Hubbard would
be pleased to hear them.