The way Christmas things are
(with apologies to Roger McGough)

No, robins don’t like snow all that much.
We sent her a card because she sent us one.
Crackers are where jokes go if they’re bad.
The wise men may well have said Allahu akbar.
I am your father and that is the way things are.

No, mulling is not quite like turning water into wine.
Bethlehem’s not so peaceful as it was.
Camels are much better than angels.
Yes, I suppose he does also bear gifts and traverse afar.
I am your father and that is the way things are.

No, mince pies don’t contain reindeer.
Surprisingly, white fur trim is not easily soot-stained.
Children used to sing Christian rhymes but now it’s mostly free verse.
It’s no-one’s birthday – just an expensive bazaar.
I am your father and, I am sorry,
But this is the way things are.

John Wood

If you have any thoughts on this poem,  John Wood would be pleased to hear them.
 
Roger McGough's The Way Things Are can be heard here.